i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
