I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
