I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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