so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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