my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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