I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
