I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
