im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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