Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
