I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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