i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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