isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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