See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Panties = found
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
