I just made out with a guy for $7.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
