your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
