The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
