Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
