I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
