ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
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