Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
