No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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