so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
You can't just leave with hair like that
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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