It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
