I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
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