You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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