seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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