My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I need a burrito and a hug.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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