Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
So much rum. So many feels.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
