I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
My brain says no but my pants say off.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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