Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
