come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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