She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
