I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
All I want is dick and wine.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
