I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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