Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
