Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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