Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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