I could have mohawked her pubes.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
