sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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