ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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