All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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