I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
