I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
