that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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