just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
