i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
