And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
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