Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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