It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
