Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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