So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
