His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
